I was then, and now.

Went to college today to check some things out. Results was not bad. No c's. :) An improvement. *wink* Collected all the timetable i can get, hopefully i can go to the illus's marker class. I guess i rather have a full day in college rather than like another day extra. Hurm, so just hope things will go my way.

Can't help going there again, lala. Yah, u know where. Brings me back to how it all started and also how i ended it. It was something so special then, that i believe i was living a dream, a life where i would have a happy ending. A family, with kidds, ambitions and your soul mate. But, back then, I was so into him. My 1st priority . I would finish my class, and urgent to his place to do assign, to spent time with him, to cook him pasta. I would bake for him, I would wake up early on my free day to bring him lunch boxes so he can have them after his college, make him his favourite sandwiches. Take care of him when he is sick, pack his room. Spent my time, making him gifts, planning for an occasion. Knowing that he love big crowds, so let him spent our festive days with frens. Actually, for me, i rather just spent it with my love one, but, what to do. Well, evrything just seem so perfect. Not for long for me to lose my patience. The fact he takes his frens more important, drop out on me so he can he can meet his buddies. In his mind, he feels that i will always be there, so, he can go with his frens 1st then only come to me IF he had extra time. *sigh* This phrase is still ringing in my head, "I sacrifice my fren time just to be with you." That pricked my heart, woke me up. So, i was just all that to him, i finally knew. Maybe to some ppl, i am too much, (guys being guys, rite?). This time was not like the other time, i was really determine. My heart and feelings just stop when i recall the last conversation as a couple.

He was also a nice guy, pretty much what i ever ask for in a guy. He is sweet, my own "gf", companion and soul mate. We would go for movies, shopping spree, yummy food, trip to end of the world if i say so. (Well, almost. hahah.) He knows when i am sad, he knows when i am happy, he knows how to cheer me up, how to work things out for me. Tried also to help me with my work, hurm, sometimes. Most days he will just doze off. Love the way he sleeps, like a cute little baby. Love the way he tucks me in, food delivery, his pampering, his small little thoughtful actions. :) But all this has come to an end I guess, now, he will be happier since he can FINALLY have all his time to his frens. So, yah. Thats it.

As days go by, i have also develope a diff personality. I no longer believe in happy endings. I know now, i have to stand on my two feet. So, i have to be more independent, confident when i come to a dead end in my life. Try my very best in evrything i do, so i can make a better life for myself. I know now, it is important, to have friends. To not only put all your soul and life into merely just one guy. To me, back then, family was not an issue. Well, now, i love them more than before. I know how to see things differently now. Cant express how much i feel, how grateful i am to meet new frens, yah, its you guys ler. I know we haven known each other for long. But just as long as we are happy when we have each other, isn't it enough? Lucky i was that ivy who neglects her frens just for a guy like before anymore. wakakka. Or not don't say any trip, any muvee la, i am sure to be absent for all. :) I will crazily rush to see him, to meet him. *sigh*. (I might be mentally ill back then to do such things, eh?) Its all good now. To me, 2007 is really a new beginning. As a different person, with different goals. Thanks guys, for being my friends, my classmates, my companion. :P

So in love with Kenji Wu, 吳克群. He is more talented than Jay. (OMG, i cant believe i just type that.) He is, well in writing songs. He wrote so many songs for his album. Came to know abt him in Lollipop. Lucky i did. Cause i love his songs!! Songs like 殘廢, 我有罪, 不屑紀念, etc. are like *cheers*. wakakka. They rock my world :P I feel i am losing my sense for english songs. Anyone who has any english songs, any songs to recomment me? Feel free to! I wanna get updated la. Especially for english la. hahaha.

Tommorow, is officially the 1st day of college. Hope evrything goes well, symbolising a good beginning for the yr! :p Glad that i express all i got to say in this blog. Wee~ Anyways, Got to go get some things done now. So, ta.

* getting crazy with the colors, bear with me!*